MYJOURNEY:mystory

2006-12-02T22:56:00.000+08:00

GIVE IT WINGS,SET IT FREE..IF IT IS MEANT TO BE, IT'LL FLY RIGHT BACK TO YOU

A lot of ideas and experiences from my past came back into my life today, and they caused me to question the choices I've been making lately. This questioning is a good sign, because it shows that I want to improve myself....

2006-11-25T22:38:00.000+08:00

BRIAN MCKNIGHT-ONE LAST CRY

My shattered dreams and broken heart
Are mending on the shelf
I saw you holding hands, standing close to someone else
Now I sit all alone wishing all my feeling was gone
I gave my best to you, nothing for me to do
But have one last cry

Chorus:
One last cry, before I leave it all behind
I’ve gotta put you outta my mind this time
Stop living a lie
I guess I’m down to my last cry

Cry......

I was here, you were there
Guess we never could agree
While the sun shines on you
I need some love to rain on me
Still I sit all alone, wishing all my feeling was gone
Gotta get over you, nothing for me to do
But have one last cry

One last cry, before I leave it all behind
I’ve gotta put you outta my mind this time
Stop living a lie
I know I gotta be strong
Cause round me life goes on and on and on
And on.....

I’m gonna dry my eyes
Right after I had my
One last cry

One last cry, before I leave it all behind
I’ve gotta put you outta my mind for the very last time
Been living a lie
I guess I’m down
I guess I’m down
I guess I’m down...
To my last cry...

2006-11-24T15:37:00.000+08:00

What is it in life that i see,for which i couldnt be.
That in reality,somethings are never meant to be.

2006-11-21T23:49:00.000+08:00

Give me strength to move on.. i really need a 'life' right now.. there is no more hope in waiting nor hoping.. just let me give it off quick as soon as possible...get it off my head..that i wont mind see-ing you ever again with someone else...

GOD, i pray , keep me strong by each day,
GOD, i pray , rid me out of this tormented mind, to realise what was never mine.
GOD, let me see, what is really for me.
GOD, keep me strong, GOD, i really need to move on.

2006-11-18T11:44:00.000+08:00

Things I would do for love.. I was once told that love is sacrifise..love is to give whatever that is best for someone even if it meant losing them..
nothing last forever thou i wanted to
the road ahead holds different dreams for me and you...
and sometimes goodbye thou it hurts in my heart i know its the only way for destiny..
and sometimes goodbye thou it hurts in my heart is the only way for you and me
thou its the hardest thing to say...i'll miss your love in every way
so...lets just say 'goodbye' but dont anyone cry nomore..
cos i true love never dies.....

2006-11-16T19:03:00.000+08:00

I Know you dont love me anymore, so why am i even trying? WHY am i still holding onto something that never cease to exist again? WHY is it that everytime I was so close to 'moving on', i keep looking back? WHY is it that everytime i try so hard to get you off my mind, you never seem to go away? WHY does your smile and presence still plays an important part in me? WHY can't I just let you go? WHY is it that I still care for you more than i should? and the hardest part is that WHY am i STILL LOVING YOU WHEN YOU DONT ANYMORE? WHY is the past memories playing in my head wherever I taught of you? I WANTED SO BADLY TO JUST FORGET IT BUT I CANT..i just cant..i really want to make it go... but i keep loving you alittle more than i should...I was told that time would be the only element i need to help me forget but to me, time can never make me forget...it will only make me stronger.. stronger to realise how cruel realities can get ....and yet it doesnt mean i dont love you anymore.. please forgive me...i cant stop loving you..
WITH every breath i pray, that is why i am saying this.. please forgive me..i cant stop loving you..please dont deny the pain i'm going through.cos three words i whisper is true...
How have i gotten myself into you so deep??
WHY is it that you've move on 'easily' with me left behind?
How is it that you 'showed' love and say it isnt?
I never want to hurt you.. i really wish i could fake a smile ..to the world and most importantly to you..but everytime i do so, my heart breaks my heart aches..till the extend it physically hurts...
I can never let you see the 'real' me..not anymore.. i remember those unconditional love and support you've showered me..and now its only fair i return it..
I try to hide my feelings..i try to keep it with me..to not let it affect you in a way or another..
I know I'm not what I used to be anymore because it hurts..it hurts because you took your love away from me...it hurts knowing that i still love you and that no matter what I do, you'll never come back to me again..it pains me knowing that I may see you walking with someone else other than me....I PAINS ME THE MOST KNOWING THAT I LOVE YOU MORE FOR WHAT HAD HAPPEN...
Things never really had gotten this far for my previous cases..yes i had been obssesed with many...i had went crazy for many before you..but you were the one who took me out from 'hell' and brought me to 'heaven'.. and now..what i feel is worst that 'hell' itself..

why am i still holding onto the day when you will finally come back to me? Are all this just reasons for myself to stop myself from moving on? If so, why am i dying inside to 'let go' and still fail to do so?

2006-11-09T04:11:00.000+08:00

Nobody Knows it But me - BabyFace

I pretended I'm glad you went away
These four walls closin' more every day
And I'm dying inside
And nobody knows it but me

Like a clown I put on a show
The pain is real even if nobody knows
Now I'm cryin' inside
And nobody knows it but me

Why didn't I say
The things I needed to say
How could I let my angel get away
Now my world is just a-tumblin' down
I can see it so clearly
But you're nowhere around

The nights are lonely
The days are so sad
And I just keep thinkin' about
The love that we had
And I'm missin' you
And nobody knows it but me

I carry a smile when I'm broken in two
Now I'm nobody without someone like you
I'm tremblin' inside, and nobody knows it but me
I lie awake, its a quarter past three
I'm screamin' at night
As if I thought you'd hear me
Yeah my heart is callin' you
And nobody knows it but me

How blue can I get
You could ask my heart
But like a jigsaw puzzle its been torn all apart
A million words couldn't say just how I feel
A million years from now you know I'll be lovin' you still

The nights are lonely
The days are so sad
And I just keep thinkin' about
The love that we had
And I'm missin' you
And nobody knows it but me

Tomorrow mornin' I'm hittin' the dusty road
Gonna find you wherever, ever you might go
I'm gonna unload my heart
And hope you come back to me
Said when the nights are lonely...

2006-11-02T23:01:00.000+08:00

I was finally getting over you and actually believing I didn't need you. I was finally accepting you will have another one in ur life. Then you smiled at me and ruined it all.
Love... Why does it hurt? Why does it ache? Maybe because we love too much and too deep that somteimes we forget to keep a little for ourselves...sad but true

and here i am living on a little prayer,
my strength hanging by a tread,rocking like a cradle.
will I have to leave without a sound?,
except that of my heart shattering as it hits the ground.

2006-11-01T19:27:00.000+08:00

I had sent you off to a thousand miles away,
and yet the image of u haunting me silently still in black and white
Perhaps a love so far apart shouldnt have cease to exist in this silent era
To the earth and depth beyond i've tried to send you...are you still there?
perhaps not because my day always starts with you in my mind....
i dont want to go to bed..everytime i do i think of you
i dont want to wake up...... everytime i do, i step into another day without you
even the brightest of star doesnt seem to shine as bright as it was before..

千里之外 | Qian Li Zhi Wai | A Thousand Miles Away (Faraway)

屋簷如懸崖* 風鈴如滄海我等燕歸來
Wu yan ru xuan yai* / feng ling ru cang hai / wo deng yan gui lai
The roof is like a cliff, wind chimes like the ocean, and I am waiting for the swallow to return.

時間被安排演一場意外你悄然走開
Shi jian bei an pai / yan yi chang yi wai / ni qiao ran zou kai
Time is scheduled to act out the accident of you leaving quietly.

故事在城外濃霧散不開看不清對白
Gu shi zai cheng wai / nong wu shan bu kai / kan bu qing dui bai
The story occurred outside the city (where) there were thick fogs. (I) can’t see the dialogue clearly.

你聽不出來風聲不存在是我在感慨
Ni ting bu chu lai / feng sheng bu cun zai / shi wo zai gan kai
You can’t tell (that) the wind chimes never sounded. It was my exasperation.

夢醒來是誰在窗臺把結局打開
Meng xing lai / shi shui zai chuang tai / ba jie ju da kai
Awakened (from my) dream, who stood by the window sill and opened the ending.

那薄如蟬翼的未來經不起誰來拆
Na bo ru chan yi de wei lai / jing bu qi shui lai zhe
The future is as thin as the cicada’s wing and can’t withstand being torn by anyone.

我送你離開千里之外你無聲黑白
Wo song ni li kai / qian li zhi wai / ni wu sheng hei bai
I send you off to a thousand miles away. (My mental image of you) is silent, black and white

沈默年代或許不該太遙遠的相愛
Chen mo nian dai / huo xu bu gai / tai yao yuan de xiang ai
Perhaps a love so far apart shouldn’t exist in this silent era.

我送你離開天涯之外你是否還在
Wo song ni li kai / tian yai* zhi wai / ni shi fou hai zai
I send you away beyond the end of Earth. Are you still there?

琴聲何來生死難猜用一生去等待
Qing sheng he lai / sheng si nan cai / yong yi sheng / qu deng dai
Where is the zither** sound coming from? It’s hard to predict life and death. (I will) use (my) whole life to wait.

聞淚聲入林尋梨花白只得一行青苔
Wen lei sheng ru ling / xun li hua bai / zhi de yi hang / qing tai
I enter the woods upon hearing tears. (I) search for a white flower, but only get a row of moss.

天在山之外雨落花台我兩鬢斑白
Tian zai shan zhi wai / yu luo hua tai / wo liang xu ban bai
The sky is far away from the mountain. The rain falls on the flower garden. My hair has become white.

聞淚聲入林尋梨花白只得一行青苔
Wen lei sheng ru ling / xun li hua bai / zhi de yi hang / qing tai
I enter the woods upon hearing tears. (I) search for a white flower, but only get a row of moss.

天在山之外雨落花台我等你來
Tian zai shan zhi wai / yu luo hua tai / wo deng ni lai
The sky is far away from the mountain. The rain falls on the flower garden. I wait for you to come.

一身琉璃白透明著塵埃你無瑕的愛
Yi shen liu li bai / tou ming zhe chen ai / ni wu xia de ai
Wearing clear white clothes, the transparency shows dust and your flawless love.

你從雨中來詩化了悲哀我淋濕現在
Ni chong yu zhong lai / shi hua le bei ai / wo lin shi xian zai
You come from the rain and transform sorrow into a poem and I am now wet.

芙蓉水面采船行影猶在你卻不回來
Fu rong shui mian cai / chuan xing ying you zai / ni que bu hui lai
A lotus floats on the water. It seems as if the shadows of the boat sails are still there, but you still won’t return.

被歲月覆蓋你說的花開過去成空白
Bei sui yue fu gai / ni shuo de hua kai / guo qu cheng kong bai
Covered by time, the flower that you said would blossom has become emptiness in the past.

夢醒來是誰在窗臺把結局打開
Meng xing lai / shi shui zai chuang tai / ba jie ju da kai
Awakened (from my) dream, who stood by the window sill and opened the ending.

那薄如蟬翼的未來經不起誰來拆
Na bo ru chan yi de wei lai / jing bu qi shui lai zhe
The future is as thin as the cicada’s wing and can’t withstand being torn by anyone.

我送你離開千里之外你無聲黑白
Wo song ni li kai / qian li zhi wai / ni wu sheng hei bai
I send you off to athousand miles away (My mental image of you) is silent and black and white

沈默年代或許不該太遙遠的相愛
Chen mo nian dai / huo xu bu gai / tai yao yuan de xiang ai
Perhaps a love so far apart shouldn’t exist in this silent era.

我送你離開天涯之外你是否還在
Wo song ni li kai / tian yai* zhi wai / ni shi fou hai zai
I send you away beyond the end of Earth. Are you still there?

琴聲何來生死難猜用一生去等待
Qin sheng he lai / sheng si nan cai / yong yi sheng / qu deng dai
Where is the zither** sound coming from? It’s hard to predict life and death. (I will) use (my) whole life to wait

2006-10-30T22:23:00.000+08:00

2006-10-28T22:58:00.000+08:00

我不想在错下去.... these are the words i saw you put
i am no fool in chinese though i may not be good in it..
does it mean you've decided?

no matter what,i'll have faith that everything will turn out fine in the end even though it'll either pains me or pleasure me at firt ..but i'll learn to handle it,yes, it's time i learn to..

ITS the HARDEST THING.....

2006-10-26T23:19:00.000+08:00

it will be the hardest thing for me to do..
to look you in the eye and tell you i dont love you
it will be the hardest thing i have to lie
to show no emotion
it will be the hardest thing i'll have to do
to turn around and walk away pretending i dont love you...
and after all this if it doesnt 'kill' me,
i'll still be as good as dead....
but if all this means given you the best and happiness you deserve..
a thousand death would mean nothing than to see you 'living'

every moment i spend with you..is the moment i'll treasure......
even if i were ever to dream again, the sweetest dream will never do..because i'll be missing you.
but still i can see the pain living in ur eyes,
and i know how hard you had tried...to know that you deserve more..
All you've meant to my life...
I dont want to hold you back from where you might belong
I would rather hurt myself
than to ever make you cry..............
I'm not sure if i'm worthy of anymore...for the chance and your love...
but even so..losing you is painful to me....

but after all this, i would really want to replay our memories again..
a feeling i would never out grew.........reasons?i dont have any!
I care not of what the future holds...stupid you may think of me... but if i were to be given another chance to be able to hold you tight, to be there for you, a day to have you again as someone part of me... i wont know what will happen in the future... i cant foresee... maybe we'll end up where we were before but then when the vision around you seems unclear and all that surrounds you are nothing but secret and lies..let me be ur strength once more....giving you hope once more...let me keep ur faith when its all gone...

will you ever stumble upon my melancholy memoirs?

2006-10-24T21:31:00.000+08:00

God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change;
courage to change the things I can;
and wisdom to know the difference.
Living one day at a time;
Enjoying one moment at a time;
Accepting hardships as the pathway to peace;
Taking, as He did, this sinful world as it is, not as I would have it;
Trusting that He will make all things right if I surrender to His Will;
That I may be reasonably happy in this life and supremely happy with Him Forever in the next. Amen. --Reinhold Niebuhr

2006-10-20T22:03:00.000+08:00

NO PROMISES

SHAYNE WARD

Hey baby, when we are together, doing things that we love.

Every time you're near I feel like I'm in heaven, feeling high

I don't want to let go, girl.I just need you to know girl.

I don't wanna run away, baby you're the one I need tonight,

No promises.

Baby, now I need to hold you tight, I just wanna die in your armsHere tonight

Hey baby, when we are together, doing things that we love.

Everytime you're near I feel like I'm in heaven, feeling high

I don't want to let go, girl.I just need you you to know girl.

I don't wanna run away, baby you're the one I need tonight,

No promises.

Baby, now I need to hold you tight, I just wanna die in your arms

I don't want to run away, I want to stay forever, thru Time and Time..

No promisesI don't wanna run away, I don't wanna be alone

No Promises

Baby, now I need to hold you tight, now and forever my love

No promises

I don't wanna run away, baby you're the one I need tonight,

No promises.

Baby, now I need to hold you tight, I just wanna die in your arms

I don't wanna run away, baby you're the one I need tonight,

No promises

.Baby, now I need to hold you tight, I just wanna die in your arms

Here tonight.

2006-10-19T23:11:00.000+08:00

What a JERK I've been..what a fool i've made out of myself..
GOD please help me ....I 'hurt' the one person I truly love..and now I am lost...
I dont know what else is there to be done...
I feel like a fool.........
I AM A FOOL...I DESERVE THE VERY WORST

is it time for me to let go? is it time for me to put the past behind? i dont want to 'hurt' anyone anymore...

2006-10-08T00:11:00.000+08:00

Looking back at times, I wonder how fast time had actually fly
Few more weeks to go before the big term holiday starts...

Why does my soul and mind still lingers in the past?
Why am I still forced to make choices?
Why couldnt I be strong enough to accept it all?
Is it too much to ask for to have what my heart truly desires?

I know life is nothing withou challenges and obstacles but now I finally know how it actually felt like to have everthing crasing down on you...

If only I could turn back time, I would still have made you mine...how I wish I would have been a better person for you.... even if in time,things might actually come to an end, at least how I truly wish I could have somehow 'understand' more...

Now i pray in the still of the night, let me be 'forever happy' with every choices i made ,every step i take...see that I would be strong enough to overcome all....See that i would love and be loved in return...

安靜

2006-09-30T22:58:00.000+08:00

只剩下鋼琴陪我談了一天
睡著的大提琴
安靜的舊舊的
我想你已表現的非常明白
我懂我也知道
你沒有捨不得
你說你也會難過我不相信
牽著你陪著我也只是曾經
希望他是真的比我還要愛你
我才會逼自己離開
你要我說多難堪
我根本不想分開
為什麼還要我用微笑來帶過
我沒有這種天份
包容你也接受他
不用擔心的太多
我會一直好好過
你已經遠遠離開
我也會慢慢走開
為什麼我連分開都遷就著你
我真的沒有天份
安靜的沒這麼快
我會學著放棄你
是因為我太愛你

WHEN WE RISK IT ALL

2006-08-11T19:53:00.000+08:00

A fine poem I would like to share..

WHEN WE RISK IT ALL
KRISTY GLASSEN

WE CAN'T BLAME OTHERS WHEN LOVE DWINDLES AWAY-
FOR WE KNEW FROM THE START IT NEVER PROMISED TO STAY.

IT'S JUST ONE OF THOSE THINGS WHERE THE STAKES ARE HIGH-
AND SOMETIMES IT'S FOREVER, AND SOMETIMES IT'S GOOD-BYE.

WHEN YOU LOVE THE RIGHT WAY, YOU WILL NEVER LOSE-
NO MATTER WHAT PATH LIFE MAY FORCE YOU TO CHOOSE.

YOU MAY END UP WITH TEARS OR A BROKEN HEART-
BUT YOU KNEW WHAT YOU SIGNED UP FOR FROM THE START.

YOU CAN ONLY GIVE WHAT YOU'VE GOT TO GIVE-
AND IF THAT'S NOT ENOUGH, THEN YOU MUST CONTINUE TO LIVE.

LIFE WILL GO ON AND BROKEN HEARTS WILL HEAL-
YOU MUST CONTINUE ON YOUR QUEST, FOR THAT'S THE DEAL.

THROW YOUR HEART INTO LIFE AND NEVER STALL-
FOR THE GREATEST RISK IS TO RISK NOTHING AT ALL.

YOU SEE, LOVE IS THE ONLY THING THAT WE KNOW-
THAT CAN BE DIVIDED AND DIVIDED BUT CONTINUE TO GROW.

AND LIFE ISN'T LONG ENOUGH TO LOCK AWAY OUR HEART-
JUST BECAUSE LIFE MAY HAVE FORCED TWO PEOPLE APART.

WE WILL CONTINUE TO LOVE AND CONTINUE TO LOSE-
WE WILL CONTINUE TO PICK AND CONTINUE TO CHOOSE.

AND THEN ONE DAY WE WILL JUST RISK IT ALL-
TAKE THE CHAINS OFF OUR HEARTS AND DISMANTLE THE WALL.

THE LAST TIME WE LOVE WILL BE THE FOREVER-
AND NEVER AGAIN WILL OUR HEARTS BE FORCED TO SERVER.

WE'LL NEVER HAVE DOUBTS THAT IT'LL GO AWAY-
BECAUSE THIS TIME, IT'LL BE HERE TO STAY.

BUT UNTIL THEN WE MSUT ENDURE ALL THE PAIN-
FOR WE ONLY SEE SUNSHINE IF WE CAN WAIT THROUGH THE RAIN.

BRAKEe--eee-e-e-e-~-* \\CRASH//-~-

2006-07-28T21:41:00.000+08:00

My first car crash accident. A lady behind me can't brake in time and end up colliding with my back. Wasn't really serius thou but just thinking about the trouble i have to go through if she insisted on making a police report just to have insurance claimed on it...-_-lll It did frighten me for awhile there and passenger beside me (Bryan) said i went *red*.
Ah well, talk about having bad luck!! -_-

HELL HAS UNLEASHED ITSELF UPON US

2006-07-24T13:47:00.000+08:00

Four more days to go before the reopening of my college!!
Four more days to go before the tortures unleashed itself again!~

I hope all goes well in times to come!~
For now, it is best I get enough rest!~

MEMORY, WHERE ARE YOU?

2006-07-21T19:52:00.000+08:00

Cut the details, overally I think I have a very bad memory!!
Things which are suppose for me to remember I fail to but instead things that aren't really important and relevent, it sticks inside my head like glue~~
Time to update my brain..I need more gigabytes!!

erm...what was I trying to say again....???

THE END IS NEAR

2006-07-21T10:02:00.000+08:00

if (LWJane_ko==true;){constant flow of work,inssuficiet sleep;}if (die){ressurect and repeat process;}

The days are numbered. It won't be long now...days of endless sufferings and tormented nights piled and filled with heavy pressured work burdens....
But it's all good!~
Through time and tide, I'll learn to easily upload those pressure...

current status = insufficient compound of energy souce ( hungry )
location status = grid X:2 Y:3 cubicle environment..spy kit(laptop) in hand

2006-07-18T09:16:00.000+08:00

LIFE IN ITSELF IS WORTH LIVING FOR

MYJOURNEY:mystory

ITS the HARDEST THING.....

安靜

WHEN WE RISK IT ALL

*BRAKEe--eee-e-e-e*-~-* \\CRASH//*-~-*

HELL HAS UNLEASHED ITSELF UPON US

MEMORY, WHERE ARE YOU?

THE END IS NEAR

BRAKEe--eee-e-e-e-~-* \\CRASH//-~-